I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
