in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
