yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
