I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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