Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I will pee on everything he values.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
