So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
