Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
