I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
