so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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