It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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