Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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