Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
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