We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
then he tried to convert me to islam
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
