WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
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