i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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