you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
