I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
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My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
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I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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