Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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