I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize