That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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