Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
