I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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