Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
