dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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