how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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