is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
