Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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