also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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