also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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