i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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