took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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