It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
this hospital has no fireball
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
