Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
