I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize