I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
