I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My vagina is very pro this idea
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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