Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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