I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
honey bunches of taint.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
