i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
