these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize