It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
