Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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