Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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