It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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