I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
