I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
sex in a hospital.. check
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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