covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
