i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
