they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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