I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
