so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
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These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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