did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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