The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
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i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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