I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
