I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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