i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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