Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
